Chris’ Blog
No Boundaries, No Limits, No Laws
One mile left in the tank. My debit card rejected by the bank. My girlfriend and I were going to play divine melodies at Odyssey house. She was worried about running out of gas and I assured her that God would work a miracle. With the gas tank on empty a strange force came over me I have felt before. I made a wrong turn, then jumped the meridian. There was a red light and two cars ahead of me. I floored the gas pedal and squeezed through the two cars, pushing them out of the way. I felt like God. My girl friend’s cries brought me back to reality. I pulled to the side of the road and began to weep. I thought I was the Anti Christ and everyone would turn against me...
Read MoreFeb 5, 2012 I have Lyme disease
Several weeks ago was my 4th visit to see Doctor Z with my father. All in all it was a pleasant trip. I got a chance to see my sister who is working at San Francisco Theological Seminary, doing a lot of outdoor “nature” work. This time she was pulling out scotch broom a very common type of weed that pops up very quickly around the campus. Afterwards we ate at a very tasty Thai restaurant. As for the doctor visit, it was the usual, as I suspected it would be. The doc asked me if I felt any better from the regimen he had me on, the DHEA plus the thyroid medication. And I responded as I usually do- “I really don’t feel much different, doc. I feel fine, and...
Read More11/28/11 Steps in a New Direction
11/28/11 Steps in a New Direction During this visit I learned that my DHEA was quite low, and there may be some kind of a problem with my thyroid. That doesn’t mean much to me. If the remedies work, great, but I feel kind of lost when doctor Z starts talking about the physiological problems that may exist within my brain and body. The problem with my bipolar symptoms is that I can be just fine for a period of time, and then within days I can cycle and have a full blown episode. I remember the last time I was in the hospital- I felt just fine when they checked me in, though I had been starting to get hyper religious and talk to a lot of people about God. But...
Read More10/21/11 Chris’ First Visit
My first visit with Dr Z was very encouraging to me. I had seen many doctors in the past, but the problem with my visits before is that they were not my idea, and I didn’t even want to be there. It’s different now. I’m actually excited to see this doctor because I’m open to what he might say to me, and what I might learn. In the past, in my mind these doctors’ visits were simply a way for my dad to keep treating me like a guinea pig, and trying to solve the problems in my life, while hobnobbing with all these self-interested doctors that didn’t seem to care that much about me, but would only talk to my father (which was probably because I never...
Read MoreMy Background
My father asked me to participate in an online blog, an ongoing discussion between him and me that we will post periodically on the internet. In this blog, he has asked me to detail feelings, thoughts and experiences I have on my journey towards recovery, especially in regards to my treatment. I am more than happy to participate in this discussion, and I can only hope that others who have struggled with bipolar, schizo-affective, or other mental disorders can experience hope and healing. I am hopeful that our new doctor, one who specializes in difficult to treat cases, will be able to help me solve the riddle of my life- why I can’t seem to stay away from...
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